Boy,
Maybe because the sky is crying, that's all I've felt like doing either. I really don't know what's wrong with me today. I have a list of things that could be wrong, but they don't deserve much crying.
The house is a huge mess, but it will remain so. I don't feel like cleaning anything because it's too hard. There's too much stuff and so little space. Too many papers and not enough filing cabinet. Too many clothes and not enough drawers (you can say that "drahhs", if you please). Too many kids books and not enough kid book shelves. I feel like throwing everything out, but I could possibly regret that if we ever live in something more than 800 square feet. I feel like buying another vacuum cleaner, but that's not in the budget. Will I ever love to vacuum again? I once enjoyed such a pass-time, now vacuuming means endless frustration. Ahh, well.
I miss my grandpa. It comes in surges. Like storm clouds. Today, perhaps to coincide with the ones outside, the clouds are in and heavy. It feels very much to me like I've lost my own father. He taught me and loved me and was a constant in my life in much the same way the very best of fathers are. It's still going to take a lot of adjustment.
In addition to some other things that have been taxing my emotions (which will not be discussed on a blog... that's what I'm talking about--FAKE), I woke up with a headache which continued until lunchtime when I buckled and took some IB Profen. All in all, I've just felt sad today. And stuck inside. And motionless. With a headache.
No worries, though. The IB Profen worked its magic. We did go outside before the skies let loose to take sand to the barn and check the water tank pump (it was on). We also played with play-doh, made shape cookie dough (shape cookies to come...they are soooo excited about the new sprinkles), had a long "loud" reading time, watched Dora (blech), and had a successful lunch followed by a successful nap-time.
It's raining, but I think the sun will shine again. And I'll be okay.
Yours Truly,
The Big L (Lady)
