Lindsay, my best friend,

I miss you already, but I'm satisfied that because of you these five youth will have an opportunity to stand and be strengthened by others like them. It can be a lonely thing to belong to the church out here, especially for kids. They need this. As selfishly as I wish you could be here with me, I know you're going where the Lord wants you this weekend. I think you'll enjoy it too. I hope it reminds Naomi a little of the testimony she once had. That truth is more valuable than pursuing fun friendships. I hope she'll come back. 
Drive safe on your way. It will be so nice to get into the temple with you on Monday and maybe walk through some church history sites. I love any moment I get with you and especially the long moments. If the weather permits I'll try and do some rototilling for you. 
I'm thinking about letting the boys sleep with me tonight. What do you think?  
I love you so much. You're the greatest. 
Oh, and Meggan said you looked beautiful when you came into Shursave last Saturday in your church clothes. I thought you were beautiful too. 

From PtBr

Dear Boy,

I wonder if Wegmans caught the demise of our woodchuck on their security cameras. I wonder if they could decipher our license plate and contact us to come pick up our mess. As I sit here contemplating last night's parking lot adventure, the boys are swimming-suit-clad, dueling with the hose. We're out in the mosquitos and near-sunshine. The clouds seem to be winning and there's a nice breeze. Maybe a storm is brewing. Definitely, it is not warm enough for any type of contact with the water straight from the well, but try telling that to young, energetic boys --especially the dueling type. My visiting teachers came this morning. Just 45 minutes after I finally detached myself from the bed. I got more than ten hours of sleep last night. It was enough. I was embarrassed to invite them in; me in my dripping wet hair, boys in pajamas, Nolan asking for breakfast like he hadn't eaten yet this month, a mountain of soiled dishes, compost on the table, and the couch in the living room completely torn apart, complete with pillows on the floor. In addition, Rose Mayo came with Emmie to see our new digs and mostly to scope out where we'd be installing her cabinets. I opened the door to the back room before I remembere the state of it. Yikes. I'm sure she was thinking the same thing. But the reality is I cannot keep the tight kind of ship I dream of because I either hate housework, would prefer being outside even if it only hopes to be sunny, or I'm just plain exhausted physically, mentally, or both. Cleaning a house is less satisfying than mowing. The house re-entropies faster than grass grows. And it should be considered a miracle that anything can happen faster than grass grows out here. I think I just caught on that if I write too much here, the iPhone decides it won't allow me to observe the product of my wiggling thumbs. And that's what has happened again. Grumble. So I must sign off and leave you with this (look closely at the background for a special pookerly surprise):

Love, this lady

Dear Friend, My Boy,

News at 10:30--
Here we are halfway to lunch and already it rained for half an hour. Gerret cried and whined for a good hour. Nolan and I escaped to the outdoors where he convinced me to set up a tent (by then it stopped raining). I can't find the bag of stakes for the Norh Face tent. Cocoa chased a woodchuck into it's hole and then could not/would not leave the hole. She's been standing vigil now for an hour. The hole, by the way, is under one of our two-ton tanks of fuel. Awesome. Speaking of awesome, grass clippings are spread over the floors of our house like confetti. There's even some on our bed, I think because the boys watched Krypto there while I took a shower. At least that's what they were watching before I got in, but when I returned, the list for related videos had nothing to do with Krypto. "Baby Tooting in the Bathtub" was one title I noticed. Anyway, while I was looking for stakes, Nolan found a fossil on a rock near the back porch and Gerret ate a graham cracker. Gerret and I played a few rounds of "The Matcher Game". He has an impressive memory. He beat me a couple times and I didnt even let him. Then Nolan wanted to play and the game rapidly dissolved into a quarrel, at which point Gerret resumed crying and whining. That's when my threatening headache took control. Now they are cooperating wonderfully, playing superheroes and bad guys together with action figures. Cocoa is still waiting. And this phone is not allowing me to look at what I'm typing anymore and my head already hurt, so that will be all. I hope your day isn't as boring as yesterday, although somedays I think I would welcome some boring.

Bored or otherwise, I always love you.

From, your lady

Dear Lady (who also happens to be a mother)

I don't really know where to start. I know you're the not the biggest fan of these seemingly hallmark orchestrated holidays, but I struggle with the idea of watching the rest of the world celebrate their loves on February 14th or their Mother's in May, and not doing anything myself to make sure everyone knows how much I love you or what a great mom you are. When everyone is celebrating loves, I'd have it be known that you are the most loved. When everyone is celebrating mothers, I'd have it be known that I think you're the best mother.
So today I am celebrating you and I really think that the rest of the world should take part in the 'you' celebrating thing too. I know how you feel about yourself and your mothering, so I won't say much here, but I will say these few things.
First, as a parent I am very relieved to have you to look to as an example. Your patience and love is a constant reminder to me of my need to improve. To use quieter tones. To show more love to them especially when they are bad. To accept that these are little kids who need my love and friendship more than my correction and nagging. Believe it or not you are a reminder to me of these things on almost a daily basis.
Second, I know what it feels like to be loved by you, and I guarantee you your presence in their lives has granted our boys an eternal and priceless gift.
Third, you are an elect Lady. The scriptures are for us and that scriptural passage is for you. An Elect lady. One whom the Lord is aware of and confident in. I love to watch you in prayer or in scripture study. What a priceless disciple/daughter you must be to Him. And to your Heavenly Mother who I suppose should also be celebrated today.
You've shown yourself more loving and faithful than most any one ive ever met and every one of your actions moves into your mothering. I love being a father paired to your mothering. we make a great set (of parents and salt and pepper shakers).
Sorry I spent too much time doing dishes and baking pies to make our appointment last night. There's nothing better than getting together with you. Reading, playing games, hanging out, or otherwise. Mostly otherwise is what I'm sorry I missed yesterday. I hope we can reschedule.
I married you a long time ago now (almost seven years) and I did it because i loved and trusted you. It's that same love and trust that lets me know you're a great mother. We hadn't known each other long, but I knew enough to trust your friendship and your quiet love. Thatvjudgement has never proved wrong. Sometimes I know I haven't deserved your love, but you've always given it anyways and for that I've been grateful and with that you're becoming a great parent. With that you are a great parent.
I hope you enjoy mother's day and time with your mom and grandma. Know my love for you truly has increased every day and how thrilled I am to have you asleep in bed next to me this morning. It's one of my favorite moments of the day. Every day.
Trust in yourself. Trust that when so many consider you a good parent, and of high value to any group, it's not empty words. You've earned every nice thing said about you. You continue to earn it. These boys love you. I love you. You're doing great.


And I started this poem for you long ago, so I finished it for Mother's day. I love you.

Put on your bonnet, lass, grab your boy's cap
Put down that dirty dish—Quick! Grab the map!
The children are ready with clean shoes and pants
So it's off for adventure.  Take care!  Take the cats! (and the dog now, I suppose, to be fair)
We're off in a hurry, packed every last inch,
Packed every odd something we might use in a pinch.
We're out cross the doorway, out into the day
So it's off for adventure, we're well on our way.
The roads might have brambles, the paths may have thorns
But we prefer to walk windy roads, not previously worn.
And through every challenge I keep hold of your hand
So it's off for adventure, you and me cross the land.
One foot at a time and one after another
I've set off with a wife with a friend with a mother,
And you you have me, you have boys, you have cats
So it's off for adventure and no looking back!
We've earned blisters and muscle pain, tooth aches and more
We've found happiness, laughter and country galore.
I don't know 'bout tomorrow or the day after that,
So it's off for adventure, with my Lady [three kids] and cats!


Happy Mother's Day!

Dear Boy,

So how do you like your new iThingy?  I hope it's working now.  I hope it's everything you hoped it would be, custom made and all.  The iPhone is in my red bag in the car. Banished for a while. The boys were eager to have it.  And watch Krypto for the rest of their lives.  I think I'll hide the phone daily and pretend we don't have access to it.  If they ask you, it caught fire.

 I don't know why some days are worse for one or both of them than other days.  Every little thing is made difficult.  Today has been one of those days.    Nolan wanted cereal, not eggs, and threw a fit when I said, "no".  Neither of them wanted to get dressed.  While I was in the shower, they got into the leftover Easter candy and chocolafied the clean, handsome shirts I had just finished wrestling them into.  And when I got out of the shower, they whined about picking up the foil wrappers they had littered through the living room (one of them refused to pick them up at all... guess which one).  They complained about the coats I grabbed for them and one of them refused to wear it (guess again).  The argued in the car about their inability to share Krypto (no problem now; iphone caught fire).  When we arrived at school, (only two minutes late!  We even would have been on time if there hadn't been a problem with the coats.) Nolan did NOT want to take the bag with his boots and coat in it.  He announced authoritatively that he was going to make ten projects and I would need to carry them, because no-way was he going to bring a bag.  So I carried the boots and coat in sans bag.  I paid tuition right before Gerret whine/yelled from halfway down the stairs that he couldn't make it down by himself.  Poor little thing was clinging with both hands to the railing looking like the jaws of death must have been snapping at him from further down the stairs.  So I go back up, take his hand, and fight of the jaws as I lead him down the stairs.  Two steps from the bottom, I heard another whine/yell from the other boy who apparently thought I was trying to make a break for it.  Maybe I should have when I had the chance.  Instead, I followed Nolan into the circus so that he good give me a hard time about leaving him and need Miss Jackie to come peel him from my leg as his got teary eyed.  Then I did make a break for it, but not without the younger beast throwing a fit about leaving. 

So yeah, let's have another one.  Obviously, I have everything under control with the two we already have.  Really though.  Things don't always proceed like they did this morning.  Sometimes everything goes smoothly.  And whenever (or ifever) that happens, I consider it a miracle and thank my Heavenly Father for helping me maintain (or regain) my sanity so I can make it through the next handful of difficult mornings/days/weeks.

Dear Boy,

Welcome to May.  As the saying goes, "April snowstorms bring May rainstorms."  Or something like that.  It is, of course, raining, but the gray sky sure does make the beginnings of green so vivid.  I read something about a person who travels or lives far from where they grew up/consider home and the way they can never shake a looming feeling of waiting. "Like being perpetually pregnant."  That's how they described it.  I don't feel like that (though I think I did when I lived in Utah).  This green country, where hills and water flow freely, is so comfortably home to me.  Maybe I've been sheltered.  I definitely haven't experienced a whole lot of anything else.  But I feel some sort of belonging here.  Despite the drawbacks and the sacrifices we made to be here, I'm glad we are.  Especially as May commences and the leaves begin to unfurl.  I just watched Mr. Blue Heron walk along the East side of the pond.  He feels like he belongs here too, I'm sure.  He fits so beautifully in the landscape. 

It's hard to fathom the existence of a world more lovely or breathtaking than this one.  I guess it wouldn't have mosquitoes or prickers.  I can't imagine what it would have, though.  I don't even really want to imagine.  I just like it here.  I'm glad you're here with me.  I'm glad you're anywhere with me.

Love, Your Lady