Hey Adventure,

It was cute; last night I woke up, not long after i must've fallen asleep and i discovered that you, yourself, were already asleep also. It rarely happens, so early into the evening, that you fall asleep and i smiled, knowing you must've been tired and that you, thankfully, found sleep quickly. i knew it must've been quick for both of us because we were still cuddled up together with my arm around you. i could hear your deep, sleepy breaths and the occasional, cute, snore.
i hope you awoke feeling refreshed.
i have really enjoyed getting into this habit of reading books with you. We have exposed ourselves to some fascinating things, and i look forward to everything that will come as we continue the habit. Particularly more enjoyable is the task of doing dishes, ever since we began using that as a time to read. i think i could look forward to dishes anytime so long as we were reading together.
i had this idea, akin to an old idea we practiced of writing down five things we wanted to accomplish. What if we did that again, but didn't limit it to five things. What if we just made a living list: a list that we could add to or remove from at any time? Then we could plan out days, weeks, lives around accomplishing the things on our list? Maybe we could even blog about our adventures in accomplishing things from reading a certain book, to finishing jobs around the house, to traveling different places. We could have a digital list, but maybe also get a giant sheet of butcher paper, or a white board, or make another chalkboard, and post the list somewhere.
What do you think?
Is that a ridiculous idea?
Unnecessary?
Misguided?
Or is it good?

i love you.

.Patrick

Sent from my iPad

Hey L,

i've never really considered blogging to be dead because i was never as into it as you were. i suppose i wasn't into it because i didn't come upon many blogs that i could relate to, or that inspired me. Though, to be honest, much of that probably has to do with a minimal effort i ever invested in finding applicable blogs.
i loved the idea of blogs because i like great writing and great photography. i loved reading your entries and would always sit back and admire your use of words—we are all so very eloquent when given the opportunity to consider our words first, aren't we? It has been a shame to see your blogging stop because i so enjoyed that frequent expression of your own creativity. You are so very beautiful, from your external through to your internals.
i admire many of those whose lives and writings you followed, even though i myself found little to relate to. i appreciate all they gave you to consider and laugh about. i am grateful for the conversations they sparked between the two of us. i am indebted to them for the exposure they gave me to the idea of blogging (which i thoroughly enjoy, though find difficulty making time for). i am sad to see them stalling out.
i imagine that the slow puttering-out of blogs is some sort of social commentary. i am not entirely sure what that comment is, but i would say it says something about our unfortunate preference for sound bytes over pondered eloquence. There is a place for haikus, but not at the expense of prose.
i think, ultimately, i will return to my blogging. i enjoy sharing my life and adventures. i don't know that many will ever read it, but i know that some will, and that's more than would hear these stories if i don't tell them.
i love you. There is some large portion of every part of me that is now largely you. You have infused my life with light and kindness. You are my lighthouse. My anchor. My city on the hill.
Please stay forever.

.Patrick




Sent from my iPhone

Hi Boy,

Thanks for sticking by me even though apparently I come across as a sad sack and I'm probably a constant drag on your own emotional well-being.  I don't mean to be a drag, so I try to cover my sadness, but my attempt to hide seems to do more damage.   It's funny because the few times you point out my melancholy are actually times that I feel quite well.

You think you are somehow at fault, that if you changed this or that, I would be something bouncy and cheerful.  The truth is, maybe some of this is situational, but I'm pretty sure the large majority is chemical.  I think a psychiatrist would hand me a heavy dosed prescription which would effectively dull and numb my senses, but we all know how I trust a doctor.

God is my only doctor and I am the physician's assistant.  Together, I think we will cure this and not just hide the symptoms with a drug.  And I am grateful for the experience and the learning it has and will afford me and the compassion it has given me for my fellow travelers.  I can understand in a way that I wouldn't have otherwise how truly and quietly our hearts hide all kinds of sorrow and affliction that the eye can't see.  Even if this will never be cured in this life, I'll be okay.  I lean on the mercy and strength of Jesus Christ.  I feel his love pulling me out of the dark.  I am forever indebted to him for his daily rescue.

Any questions?  Feel free to ask.  I don't generally know where to start, but I'm not totally unwilling to try.  This was my meager effort.  I'm sorry if it's too meager for your taste.  

From your lady

Dear Boy,

Thanks for inviting me to the organ concert.  I really enjoyed it.  Thanks for the new boots.  They fit my style and needs quite perfectly.  Thanks for making eggs this morning.  They were delicious and actually 2/3 of our kids enjoyed them which is somewhat of a morning miracle.

So I look forward to the idea of living in Virginia with you and being homesteaders.  Is that what you still think you want to do?  I will follow you anywhere, but I'm more anxious to go somewhere with a more definite plan the next time we move.  I think it would be wonderful to do small scale farming and to do it somewhere warmer.  (And closer to the ocean?)

From,
a lady

Dear Adventure,

It seems i cannot have moments of thought that don't, ultimately, lead me to you. The very idea of adventure has you caught up in it entirely.
i can't imagine a true adventure without you.
i'm sitting in Sage Chapel right now and an organist just finished up. i know you have no taste for the organ, but it is one of the more amazing musical experiences to sit in a chapel and feel the organ as it plays. There is something about the power of those great pipes, and the way everything seems to shake with the same notes—like we all: instrument, building, air, and myself are sharing the true FEELING of the music.
i experienced it a few times in France and it's a sensation that stays with you.
Anyway, i mention this because they hold concerts in the chapel here and i would love to bring you up to one sometime. Game?

.this boy


Sent from my iPad

To My Dear Adventure,

To My Dear Adventure,

Thank you for the quote. Neil Gaimon has perhaps become one of my favorite authors—if not favorite. Stardust. Coralline. Instructions. One of my favorite episodes of Doctor Who. He is an amazingly inspiring orator in specifically the way I would be inspired: He encourages adventure. I'm not sure if he pursues adventure, but he talks a good game.
Next I would say that I am sorry. I am sorry that I am and have been settling for less than my full potential. I feel like I could, if I desired, have a handle on anything—and everything. The trouble has been trying to decide who this boy inside of me is and how he can possibly choose any one thing and leave so many undone . . . and I think that the answer is that I can't. I can't leave things undone. I don't know how to leave so much life unlived.
For my father and mother a life entirely focused on the home was satisfactory. Blissful even.
For my part I accept that it could be satisfactory, but I want so much more than satisfactory. I want inspired. I want adventurous. I want to be involved with so many and to help so many.
I am coming to accept now that I am, in some ways, other than the boy who went into the film program. That boy wanted to inspire using the means that had inspired him, but that always meant ignoring so much of the things he had been inspired to do. I don't want to just inspire. I want to inspire people to do. To be better. To be happier. There is so much good and beauty out there in the world. Far more good and beauty than bad. All that is lacking are eyes willing to look for that good.
I don't know how we will do it, but I want to take our family out on adventure. Not an occasional adventure either. I want adventure to be the norm. I want excitement to ooze out our pores. I want to work with the world, for the world, and in so doing find the happiness of a faithful saint with eyes for beauty and adventure. I want more time with my children and my wife. I want our adventures to be shared adventures. I want our eyes recording the same goodness and beauty. Our lungs breathing the same exhilarating moments of life. Our hands working the same good in the world.
You are my beautiful companion. My good company. Our children are the most desirable traveling mates. We can do and see incredible things, and we will.
Oh the places we'll go.
I will write. I will write and work and look and pray harder than ever before and we will find the path that has been hidden in plain sight and then you and I and our family will sail off for adventure forever.

.Patrick


Sent from my iPad

Dear Boy,

This is for your birthday as well. They are not my words, but they echo my thoughts and wishes for you and for myself. I love you and I've been grateful for the opportunity to make mistakes with you and also to be successful at some things.

I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.

Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're Doing Something.

So that's my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody's ever made before. Don't freeze, don't stop, don't worry that it isn't good enough, or it isn't perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.

Whatever it is you're scared of doing, Do it.

Make your mistakes, next year and forever.

--Neil Gaimon

I feel like you are good at doing this anyway, but I hope you will continue and will always be improving (not necessarily at making mistakes but just at pushing boundaries).  

Love, this lady

My Dear Boy,

Here is something I'd say for your birthday.
I'd say you're the best thing that ever happened to me and you amaze me in so very many ways.
You're something else and something unique and something adventurous and something brave and I feel honored to know you.  I love to be your friend. I find all kinds of the most satisfying joy in being your wife.  I only wish I knew you better, wish I was the most uplifting, enlightening, enlivening friend, wish I brought more joy as your wife.  I know you disagree with my saying so, but I honestly feel like I'm miles behind you and I'm racing to be by your side.  And that's not an insult -to you or to me.  I don't mean it as such.  I mean it as this:
You inspire me, boy.  You help me be a better lady and human.  You help me see light when I feel enshrouded in darkness.  You raise my sights and my desires.  You make me laugh and smile and love and feel goodness.  Oh goodness, the feeling I get from you just fills and then overflows.

I feel so loved by you everyday that I am left wondering about it.  Like, "how could this be?  How can a boy so glowing with wonderfulness be taken by a girl just barely budding?"  The only answer I can accept is a miracle.  It is a miracle.  It was a miracle when we first came to be and now, just about nine years later, it continues to be a miracle.  I thank God for you.  Everyday, my heart pours out thanks for you.

I love you.