Dear lady,
i'm happy to know that things with Gerret are going so well. Individual time with a parent is such a special thing, and the eldest children (as we both had the good fortune to be) get an unfair amount of it. Preschool is allowing Gerret the opportunity to be the eldest for a few hours on those days, and get all of your time and attention. Taking about the two of you cuddling on his pillow was a warm and happy picture in my mind. i wish my brother Brady realized what a glorious opportunity he has had to get my parents attention. i would love to be there spending time with them again. i suppose my growing up and maturing only happened near the end of my stay with them (though I was never responsible or mature before that, and Brady was—and it feels he's letting go of it now).
In any case, i love you. You're right, making this decision hasn't been our best kept secret. i wish i could say this has all been part of the plan, but we both know that's not true. Our being here has led to some goo though. Our boys have come to know your family, and they got time (however brief) with your grandpa. You were a friend to Lisa when she had none. Our boys have enjoyed pageant and feeling the spirit of the church sites. A lot of good has come out of being here. We are most likely coming to the end of our time here, so i guess we'd better take in all we can. i've loved you through every rainy day, through every snow storm, and through every gorgeous fall, and i will continue to love you every day of my life. You are my dearest treasure.
.a boy


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Dear Boy,

I think that particular zoo is worse than others, but it was raining too hard for us to really take notice.  We pretty much ran through it and yelled, "Hi Tigers!  Hi Elephants!  Hi Owl!" as we passed by.  But we had fun despite our sopping clothes.  It's always good to get out of the house.  Though I have to say that I am really enjoying my time with Gerret during nursery school hours.  He's been asking for a few days to "scoop Cinder's poop", so I just helped him do just that.  Cinder will be pleased.  We also cuddled with his fuzzy pillow and read a pile of books.  Before that we played with Jasmine and got a doughnut from Grandma upstairs (right now he is clearing off our bed to be super man as I write this).  My mom just got home from visiting the Amish family who will build a barn for her.  The father of the family, Toby is between 45 and 50 (bob's estimate) and he owns a successful building business.  He has 8 sons and 2 daughters (also according to Bob, but my mom verified that she met all 8 sons and one daughter who was about Nolan's age this morning).  The children work for and live with their parents until they are 21 or married.  They work sort of as apprentices in whatever their father's business is and they don't get paid.  After they are 21 or married, their father builds them a house and gives them a piece of land just like in olden days.  Except I don't know what happens to the daughters. They're garbage I suppose.
It will be good to practice on this kitchen floor so that someday if we need to do it again, we'll know more what we're supposed to do and be more confident.
Speaking of knowing what we're supposed to do and being confident.  We stink at this in real life.  I don't even want to go ahead and make a decision because I'm not confident that I can make a good one.  Let's just live with my parents forever.  It will be a grand party.  Thanks for waiting in the rain after midnight for me.  It's amazing that you could stay awake that late.  I love you.

Dear Lady,


i'm glad you guys had a good time at the zoo. i can remember attending the zoo once (with you?) and being overwhelmed by how sad some of the animals seemed. It's not much of a life to be stuck in a cage and fed lettuce everyday while children giggle and point all around you. i love the opportunity to see the animals—what marvels the Lord has created—but i prefer the larger zoos wherein the enclosures are bigger, provide more roaming space, at least an illusion of privacy, and an imitation of their natural habitats (though i enjoy my zoo webcam app on the phone).
Tile in the kitchen sounds good...again. It's funny we got so close once and now it's a year later. i guess it's time to try again? It would make quite a difference to have a clean kitchen floor. You think it's a hard/messy process? Or you think it'll be pretty easy? i think i'm most nervous about messing it up. Like maybe we'll make a nice, crooked/uneven kitchen floor. i suppose it would still be nicer than the floor that's in there now.
Thanks for talking about things last night. i really want us to all accomplish any goals we have for ourselves—the most important goals being righteousness in our family, and the subsequent happiness. It's hard to think about moving on from where we are. i know we don't have a lot, but we get by, and this is what we know. i'm scared to death at the prospect of stepping outside what we know, but that's the point right? A leap of faith. i know the Lord will prosper the righteous, but i am still nervous about the final decision we make, but we need to make it soon.
Do you remember back when we were dating? Can you believe we actually had a lot less than we do now? Hard to believe. i remember eating grilled cheese sandwiches with your Creamery discount that summer. i also remember waiting outside for you until 12-1am. Those were crazy days. i'm still madly in love with you, but glad i don't need to wait until 1am in the rain.
i love everything about you.
.Patrick


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Dear Boy,

We're headed to Syracuse today to help my mom out.  She has an appointment, but doesn't feel comfortable with the drive by herself.  I'm thinking about taking the boys to the zoo while we're up there.  Except it's scheduled to rain by this afternoon.  We'll see how it goes.
Since we haven't corresponded with the Nyres in making plans for the temple trip Saturday, I think we can go up as a family and you can go in while I take the boys for a bike ride like I did last year.  I'm pretty anxious to get my bike on the road.
Maybe we can get the tile down in the kitchen this month?  Are you game?

-Lady

Dear Lady,
So I wrote you this whole letter this morning before I got in the shower. I spent a chunk of my groggy, wee morning hours, writing to you only to have the program glitch closed before I could save it. Can you believe it? I'm not sure that anything elicits as beautiful a love/hate relationship as modern technology. Alas that letter is gone and I now find myself at the mercy of the boys, and when they'll wake up, to write to you anew.
Let me just say I love you. I believe in you and me, but much more in you and I hope I ne'er lean too heavily on you for support (I wouldn't want to hurt your back or anything). I've not known anything so encouraging and so satisfying as to love someone each day. I wake up in love with you and I pass out at the end of the day even more in love with you.
I know we're in a crazy place right now, and I'm grateful to have someone like you with me through it. The idea of changing jobs, going back to school, and moving is kind of overwhelming. Okay—really overwhelming. Yet there is this silver lining I feel. There is this sense of a great goodness to come out of it all that I feel on the cusp. Do you sense it? It almost gets adrenaline going in me. A nervous excitement. And I love having it all with the girl I married 6 years ago.
I want you to know that I can and will do better at providing for our family. One day you will have your craft room (if you want it) with all of your stampin' up stuff. We'll laugh with our kids as we put them to bed in a room that's not right next to every other room in the house. And we'll enjoy cool evenings on our porch together. Oh! And sometimes we'll cuddle on the couch to watch a movie I helped make.



I love your whole entire everything.
.a boy
(photo courtesy of Nolan)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone