I had to laugh. I couldn't help it. When I read your last letter to me here I just didn't feel that it described me at all. I've felt a lot of things through this most recent of our life's experiences, but calming or level headed were not among those things I've felt. And I'm sorry for that.
I'm sorry for the times when all I can be is bitter. I'm sorry for those times when I am less than compassionate (which is far too often). I'm sorry for those times when my comments are more destructive than constructive. Most of all I am sorry for every instance when my presence and contribution was less than supportive.
I love you. You've been incredible through all of this. Your ability to love and prove charitable has long been something I have envied and still strive for. In conversations with others you are most often spoken of as an example of who I am not—and who I would like to become.
Listening to conference this weekend was a touching experience. This has been the first time in a long while that I have come to the altar (so to speak) humbled and ready to be instructed. I took a fair amount of notes: all concerning how I may better myself. Many involving how I may better myself in the situation we're in now—living with my in-laws for the third time :)
This gospel is the most important knowledge I know. It just floated around me for most of my young life, but how grateful I am for the patience of my parents and the Lord. How grateful I am to have had experiences enough to know now that there is a God in heaven whom I may call Father. How grateful I am to have Heavenly parents to turn to as well as earthly ones. I am grateful for the Savior Jesus Christ and to have had an opportunity to ponder upon his atonement and sacrifice yesterday. I know, every day, that I am who I am (in large part) because Jesus was willing to be who he was.
. . .
I trust that you always know that I love you, but here it is again just in case: I love you. You have been the brightest light in my life. You have been my deep friend for so long that my heart no longer remembers what it was to not have you. You are in my every decision, and in every part of my deepest smiles.
Thank you for being my wife.
.a boy
