It breaks my heart more than anything to see you so sick and to feel so helpless in the face of it. It's been a crazy week. A long week. A tiring week. A worrisome week. But the older I get and the more weeks like this that I add to the account, the more I think that's just what life is.
Crazy.
With bits of beauty shining through every moment.
Sometimes the only beauty I can detect comes from the hope I have in my own heart. I have complete faith that everything will work out, that we can find goodness in every day, that there can be peace in the midst of turmoil, and that there is much to look forward to.
I'm sorry that you have been dragged into the hardships of my parents' family. I'm sorry for the sleepless nights, the moldy basement, the stress, the gloom, the clutter, the dirtiness, the inconvenience, the many altered plans, the disappointments, the frustration, the negativity, and an unsure future. But thank you for sticking with me through this. It has been a very painful few months and even years to watch this happen to my dad and to my parents and sisters and feel so powerless in the face of it. Thank you for giving me the space to relieve whatever burdens I am able to. Thank you for being there for our kids when I am not. Thank you for holding me at night and always showing me such kindness. Thank you for being gentle with my aching heart. I love you for it. You are my strength and you are in my every smile.
I hope you receive your energy back. I hope for a miracle. I hope you will wake up in the morning and all will be as it was before last Sunday morning. If not, I hope the doctor will find a solution and it will be just a few days more. If not, I will see it as heaven's hand in getting you out of your job (haha) and take it as a sign that I should find work to do. I guess it's still just wait and see.
I love you, my dear boy.
-Lady
