Dear Lady,

Thanks for last night.

Our date, I mean.

The one where we went to dinner and then went for a walk.

Thanks for later last night too.

And thanks for this morning.

And really just thank you for every moment of my life since I met you. 

Or since you met me.

I think I'd say that I met you first--I did initiate that first epic-fail of a conversation.  

Everything turned out okay in the end though.

Better than okay.

I have never had a relationship anything like what I have with you.  

I think that every morning when I wake.  

And every morning when I climb back into bed with you at 6:10am (though I was a couple minutes late this morning).  

There's not a day that I don't recognize and feel grateful for the fact that you could have ended up with someone else, but are here with me.

You are my great muse. 

My great solace.

My grandest smiles.

So thank you for all of that.

For every moment.

And thank you for last night.

.a boy

Hi Boy,

It's exciting to have a pond forming in the back yard. Maybe we should catch some turtles and frogs from my parents' to put in it once it's filled. I'm so thankful to Brother Murray for spending his time and resources to dig it for us. I think the pond would almost never have gotten done without him. I say almost because I assume it would eventually somehow happen, but not for a very, very long time. 

Thank you for the uke. It's been such a boost to my health during a time that's been very trying. It brings me joy and gives me motivation when I'm feeling down and motionless. 

You're sleeping on the couch next to me and I'm listening to the boys play Star Wars Legos together and they've been laughing and giggling lots. They don't do this too often, so I'm really enjoying their camaraderie. My dream for them since they were babies together is that they would be friends through their lives and that they would grow up to depend on each other for support and fun and love. And I've often felt disappointed that it hasn't seemed to work out, but on afternoons like today when I see a glimpse of their friendship, I think there may still be hope. They're really great kids. I'm lucky to be their mom. 

I am pretty sensitive to the way women are portrayed in media, not necessarily because I, myself am so offended by the stereotypes and objectification that happen, but because I don't want Auburn to identify with a lot (or any) of it. So, the way women are illustrated is especially noticeable because illustration  depends so much (solely?) on stereotypes and objectification, otherwise they do risk becoming androgynous. I'm not opposed to androgyny, but when you're trying to tell a story with pictures I recognize the need for identifying traits. The reason I think older art (your examples were Renaissance and Egyptian) didn't include stereotypes so much is those artists were focused on realism. In reality, men and women don't look that different on the surface... Especially in a culture like the Egyptians' where men and women dressed similarly and even both wore makeup and jewelry.  Illustrators aren't trying to be real, I don't think. They aren't drawing from life. They're drawing from ideas. Whelp. I rambled about that a bit; now I'm done. Ha ha.  

I love you. I'm grateful to you. I don't know how I'd live without you. 

L

Dear Lady,

So I've been trying to improve my drawing skill set lately. Not sure why—just have been.
Anyway, I have specifically been trying to learn to draw women. Over the course of my drawing and doodling life I have never really been able to effectively illustrate a female character. Males, easy. Aliens, sure. Animals, no problem. I can draw anything, really, other than a woman. I mean a stick figure woman, okay, but that's not really a female character—that's just a stick figure win some curly lines on top and maybe a triangle skirt. It's not truly effeminate.
Or, at least I didn't think it was.
So I've been looking at illustrations online. I've been looking up illustrating instructions specific to women. I've been paying closer attention to female figures in cartoons and in comics. And you know what I found out? It turns out that the difference between female and male illustrations are a series of brain encoded stereotypes that aren't necessarily true to real life. The illustrator isn't necessarily trying to mimic reality as much as they're trying to trip the right amount of encoded ideals to make your brain think that's it's female:

•long lashes
•rounded facial features
•small chins
•thick lips
•long, thin necks
•long hair
•bigger eyes
•thin hips
•breasts

These are just some of the ideas you find espoused in discussions on how to draw the female character. You'll notice that most of these features could be attributed to some men, or are not possessed at all by some women. Yet when they are placed down on paper our brain tells us this is a woman. It makes me wonder how long our brains have been trained this way.
In earlier Renaissance or even older Egyptian illustrations these stereotypes are not present. In Egypt the women looked very much like the men in pictures, with perhaps only their breasts to distinguish them. In Renaissance work there was quite a bit more true-to-form illustration with many women being quite round all over—none of the small chins, or hips, or necks present (but we still see them as women). So when did it start?
What's even more interesting is that in simpler, smaller comic illustrations you find the artist doesn't have room for all of these items. Usually it gets limited to breasts, hips, (maybe) long hair, and a long, thin neck. We still see them as clearly female characters, but there's really not a lot there to distinguish them from the illustrated males. One thing I've been doing is using my fingers to cover up hair, or their bodies just to see how my brain reacts.
Wouldn't you know it, when certain encoded ideals are covered the illustration becomes quite quickly androgynous. It's really fascinating to me.
In the comic book about comic book that I got for Nolan, Scott McCloud has this interesting passage where he discusses this idea. He doesn't make mention specifically of men and women, but he discusses the encoding of our brain and our brains desire to make sense of things. He begins with a photo of a man, then moves to a realistic drawing, then a comic style illustration, then a really simplistic illustration, then a stick figure face, and then an electrical outlet. He points out that, all along the way, we never stop seeing a face. Even though the outlet isn't a face, our brain makes it a face. It meets the right amount of encoded points and it's a face.
Aren't our brains crazy?
Anyway, I'm still a long way off from being able to illustration women in a manner satisfactory to myself, but I've found the exercise quite challenging and interesting.
Now I'm going to be coming upstairs to crawl into bed with you for a few minutes.
I love you.

.a boy

Dear Lady,

A very happy Mother's Day to my best friend who doesn't recognize Mother's Day as a holiday!
You have been an incredible parent to these three small children and you'll only be more of the same (and even better) when we welcome our fourth. I'm so grateful that our children have you as a loving example. I'm so grateful that they seem to trust your love and kindness.
I hope that I, as your partner in parenthood, do more to support than to burden. I often feel so inadequate as a father (last night was no exception) and I often look to you and the example you set to right my wrongs. When I feel I'm veering off course I use you as a waypoint to re-plot myself and try again for love and patience. You've really no idea the righteous influence you are in my life. 
So happy Mother's Day to you! This is only a brief note to reassure you of my love and admiration for you as my friend, as my wife, as a mother, and as a person. You are incredible. 

.Patrick