Thanks, Boy. Thanks always for you encouragement and support. I wouldn't have dreamed of doing this if it weren't for you. I am so blessed to have you. I never take that for granted. 

We're on a new adventure. I'm so excited. And yes, scared and feeling a bit crazy. It feels like I am proactively unsticking myself. In the process, we'll move and change and I hope it will be a great journey. 

L

Dear L,

I can't even begin to convey how excited I am for you. I mean you're finally doing what you've wanted to do for years! Walking that path you'd dreamed of for so long. And I think this is all so awesome!

And, yes, I think you'll have moments where you think you're crazy for doing this. Moments when you second guess yourself. Moments when you're apprehensive. When you're nervous. Terrified, even. And that's alright. In those moments just remember that you wouldn't be feeling all those things unless you were doing something that really mattered. Something that was really so very important to you. And that's why it's worth doing despite all the misgivings that try to slow us down.

I admire you for overcoming those apprehensions and going for it. That's something I've not quite mastered. Maybe someday. In the meantime I'm happy to support you in whatever way I can. Just let me know how I can help.

I love you so much, L. You're an incredible person with and incredible dream. I hope you'll love being a midwife—though I have a suspicion you'll find yourself in love with the entire journey there. And I'm honored to walk alongside you for the adventure.

.Boy

Dear L,

You know those little seed pods that fall from trees? The ones that spin like a helicopter propeller if you toss them in the air? Well I happened to be in the break room today washing my dishes from lunch when one of those propeller things caught my eye. It was quite unique in appearance, as one side of the pod had already grown old and brown while the opposite side remained as green and vibrant as ever it could be. It was as stark a sight as black on white, but what really caught my eye was that the pod had fallen from the tree and become lodged in a filter screen above the big AC unit outside.
The AC unit was running at the time and so vibrating all around it—including that seed pod. The stem of the pod is what had fallen through the screen, trapping the larger pod-end just above it, and, as the motor of the AC hummed, that pod danced around and around and around in a circle, flipping from green to brown to green and back again. Over and over and over this dance occurred. Sometimes it was resting all the way down on the screen, and sometimes the vibrations of the AC bounced the pod up into the air a bit, but always it danced around and around and around and I was mesmerized.
I don't know how long I spent standing there and watching this little show out the window, but I think I probably wasted a bit of water before I remembered to finish washing my dish. And all that while I stood there thinking about how beautiful a moment it was—and that life is just full of these small instances. Moments that are no grand spectacle at all, and yet they're moments that reassure us of the goodness and beauty of life. Of how precious each moment of our lives is. Of how unique a story each of us has to tell about the moments of our lives.
It was a small thing, to be sure. Wholly inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. But beautiful, and intimate all the same.
I'm blessed to find moments like this in my life, and more blessed to have you to share them with.
I love you L.

.PtB

Dear Boy,

This is life right now, today. Sam's asleep. His schedule is a little wonky as far as being at Lodi Point for the eclipse goes, but I'm going to push to make it work. My brother's visiting. That might mean a family meeting, I guess, but I'm not holding my breath. Maybe visiting the Millspaughs counted as a family meeting?  It's Auburn's family night and she wants to go back to play games at my parents house (not that she actually played games yesterday, but I think she just likes being around everyone).  I'm waiting for my Lularoe shirt and another shirt in the mail. The second one is bought with a gift card Jordan and Diana sent for my birthday which I promptly forgot about until last week. Mostly, I'm waiting to hear back about my application. Hard to believe I'm about to go back to school at 33, but so exciting. I don't think I've been so excited for the future in a long time. I am very itchy. Not sure why this always happens to me. I have a lot of work to do around the house as far as finishing the room swap goes. I found another wasp in the bathroom this morning. I'm proud of you for running this morning. I'll try to run sometime soon too. It feels good when I do. I was thinking about offering to speak in Sacrament meeting this Sunday. Do you think that's a good idea or crazy or both or neither?  I hope the truck will behave itself for you until Wednesday. Nolan is frustrated because he wants a wall that he could kick a soccer ball at. I don't know how to teach him that just because something isn't going the way he wants it to doesn't mean he needs to be grumpy or let that thing sour his entire day. I guess that's a hard lesson for every person. Maybe it's just something you have to learn from life. So far it's looking too cloudy to observe the eclipse. I love you. 

L

Dear L,

That's scarce to hear about Sam and the garlic! Things like that give me great pangs of anxiety. I've never experienced such constant worry in my life like what I experience for our kids.

It's crazy!

But, thankfully, Sam will only be little for so long and my anxiety for them lessens as they get older (though I don't know I can say it goes away). I suppose if ever you love anything you're never truly free of anxiety for those things.

And I'm glad to hear you're excited about the future. I pray the best for us and especially for this new path you're beginning to walk. I'll be looking forward to hearing what you hear back from the schools. My fingers are crossed (and prayers said) that you find all the answers and good fortune for which you may hope. However, whether the other be easy or difficult I will support you all along the path—wherever it may lead our family.

Now for a brief anecdote from my day:

So I've told you that on some mornings I find time to wander over to Taughannock and read my scriptures or write in my journal at the overlook. Right? Well, I believe I also told you that a couple of times there's been this older man there enjoying the peace and calm of the morning, yes? It's the same man who I said was down in the overlook peeing into the drain one morning.

Is all this ringing a bell?

Well I was there alone this morning when this gentleman arrived again (usually he's there before me). I think it was owing to how many times we've shared that overlook, but, whatever the reason, he struck up a conversation with me this time. And you know what . . . It's an enchantingly small world we live in. It turns out he has a brother who has lived for many many years in Spokane.

Crazy, right!?

Out there at the overlook. Early in the morning. Thousands of miles from where I grew up, and this random old man with whom I share that early morning overlook has a direct connection to my hometown.

Anyway—not much more to say about it than that, but life delivers beautiful coincidences doesn't it?

Well I've gotta bolt to a meeting, but I love you. Thanks for the letter.

I love you L.

.Patrick the Boy

Boy,

Yikes. It looks like I should write you a letter or two. I owe you a lot. You're so constant and interesting and loving and accepting of me. I can't thank you enough for that. 

Sam's taking a nap. The boys are all playing in the back and Auburn's playing minecraft. Sam woke up at 7:40 this morning. I think a rooster woke him up. Everybody else was still asleep. I read that you can feed egg yolk to babies after they are nine months old. So I cooked him his first egg for breakfast and he really liked it. I had to put him down to separate the yolk (but I am a pro at one-handed egg cracking). He picked up the peel of a garlic clove when I didn't see and almost choked. I try to keep the floors clean, but if I miss a day, our floors become dangerous. There's usually a lot of dirt and clutter to clear after the weekends.  

I'm going to do more school research today. I'm excited for our future. It feels so nice to have a plan and a goal and a future that doesn't seem so nebulous (assuming this all happens).  

I had an uncomfortable dream about my mom last night. I don't really remember it, but just the bad feeling. Then I got texts about church this morning and blah. You know?

Anyway, thanks for a nice anniversary. I'm glad to spend my life with you and grateful for these past many years spent in your company. And we have this nice family. You love me so well and I love you so deeply. So let's keep doing this thing. 

L

Dear L,

Well . . . Why not? Let's get another letter up here shall we? I mean, I'm just sitting outside with Sam while he takes a nap at the Nyre's. I surely hope the kids running around and playing don't wake him up. It should be alright though—their property is significantly bigger than I ever realized and we're tucked away in the far corner under the trees. There's a bench here and Sam and I are just enjoying the beautiful weather (August has turned out beautifully, wouldn't you say?).

Did you realize that the Nyre's have a lot of mature fruit trees already? I passed an Apple, peach, and a pear tree. I think they must have planted at least the peach tree. I'm not sure about the other ones.

Oh, and we can go pick peaches at the Smith's anytime. And as much as we want. Their in Poland for two weeks so they'll all be spoiled before they get back. I figured maybe we could head over there for family night and that could be our snack too. They also mentioned that there are blueberries . . .

To change the subject—I wish it was always the weekend. 'Cause I certainly enjoy time with you.

I love it actually.

Nothing better.

I just wish we had more of it.

Time that is.

Time together, specifically.

I don't mind working. I really don't. I enjoy what I do and the people that I work with, but I certainly prefer time with my bluish-green eyed friend (that's you).

When you met me did I come across as being as solitary an individual as I am? Our conversation at church with Caitlin just got me thinking about this subject. It's just another of those instances where you and I differ like night and day. You would love for nothing more than to be with friends doing fun things. I, on the other hand, am usually fantasizing about some place I've yet to be or adventure I've yet to have.

But I do like people. Just in a different way than you. Or perhaps just in one of the many ways you like people. Because I do enjoy talking to people. I mean I did engage in a lengthy conversation with an older French woman at the airport as I came home from Minneapolis. And I did approach the gentleman working construction at
Cascadilla Creek and speak to him. But I think to be fair it's because I love stories and I love that people are full of stories I've never heard. I love that.

But I definitely don't enjoy just "hanging out/around" people as much as you do. Your love for the company of people is amazing. I love you for it. It's just another of those character traits you have that I don't. But I try a little more every day.

Though I do believe it's our differences that give life it's vibrant color.

What fun would it be if we were too similar?

Okay, I'm gonna wrap it up here. I love you L.

.Patrick

Dear L,

This is one of my favorite places in Ithaca. It's the top of the parking garage next to the library. 

I'm not so very sure what it is about this place, but ever since I began working for INHS I've been bewitched by it. I don't know . . . Maybe it has something to do with the view I have of this place every time I leave work. Maybe. I mean it stretches up over the buildings otherwise obstructing my view and stands out, alone, against the skyline. For some reason I've just always enjoyed that view. I could stand in the parking lot and stare up at it for a very long time (I was going to say "forever" but that felt a little melodramatically emphatic). 

In any case, I love this place. I'm sitting up here as I write this, and every time I pause from writing I can look out over the top of this city that's become my home town (and isn't that a strange idea? That you stole me from the West and now Ithaca feels like home to me. More so than anywhere else I've lived, in any case). 

Do you remember that one movie I made at school—Snap? I'm just sitting here and remembering that for part of that movie I had to sit on the very edge of the top of that parking garage in downtown Provo. The thought of that still gives me vertigo (man I was willing to do anything for film back then . . .). 

Anyway—sorry it's been so long since I've taken a chance to write to you. I do love talking to you. I do love sharing things with you. I've never had a friend like you before, and I hope that I never take that for granted. 

I'm listening to the Goo Goo Dolls as I write this. I still like their music, but I definitely loved their music back in high school. They were making the perfect emo style music for teenagers before emo was a thing. I remember that every great love story movie had one of their songs in it for a while there. I even used one of their tracks for what you could consider the "emo" portion of that video I made of me and Dallas and Tyson and Jared in Utah. 

Seems hard to believe that I'm 35, now that I think of that trip to Utah. Life certainly has sped up on me and I can't hardly believe so much life has passed me by. Youth certainly didn't prepare either of us to react to adulthood as I think we'd've liked—but man what a great life we have with these kids. How blessed I am to share this family with you!

Thank you for loving me through every storm and every ray of sun. Thank you for your smile. Thank you for that grimace-y smile you do when I'm taking your picture. Thank you for laughing with me. Thank you for laughing yourself to tears when we watch HIMYM. Thank you for introducing me to HIMYM. Thank you for being everything I know about the deep parts of being happy. 

Thank you for being you. 

I love you L. 

.PtB