Today has been great. Very rough, but great. Because I'm alive and you are. Together, those two make me so glad, but that's pretty much it today. Ha ha. The boys have been fighting every moment they can get it in. And they needed a bath two hours into the day. By that time we were already out of warm water, but I didn't realize it until I went to wash their hair. It was the perfect temperature when I adjusted it for filling and the boys just climbed right into the near-empty tub while it filled. They never said anything about it being cold until I did. Then they insisted on getting out and waiting for more hot water.
After the bath we did the following all the while whining, yelling, and quarreling:
We played with play-doh.
We played "Super heros" on our bed (which is also the floor, you may have noticed). Both of the boys wore Superman shirts and I played the Incredible Hulk. I proved to them over and over that Hulk is stronger than two Supermans.
We made popovers and did dishes. There are still more dishes to do. And more after that I'm sure. Yikes. Perhaps I'm falling apart because our house is falling apart. Or perhaps our house is falling apart because I am falling apart.
After lunch (noodles, popovers with jam and ham)
we had reading time
and naptime.
Ahhh naptime. Some days I appreciate nap time, some days I take it for granted, and then some days I honestly think I'll die if they don't take a nap. Today was option 3. And...... Nolan won't stay in there.
So I told him he needed to stay in our room until Gerret wakes up. I need a break from his whining.
I just feel absolutely worn out. And not in a physical way. Every part of me except my body (and even that sometimes) is exhausted. It's okay though. The weekend is coming. I'll keep on going.
As for housing... I really think we could make any place work for us. Whether we're in Trumansburg without a car, in Lodi with funky people and a poor educational system, or Watkins with flood insurance. I think we could make any of those work out for us.
In Lodi we could have a (seemingly) very nice home for very cheap, so maybe we could have a second car. Maybe we could pay it off quickly. Maybe we wouldn't have to put any money into fixing our house. And though the school district seems to be questionable, I think we both would agree that that doesn't need to determine our children's ability to learn.
In Trumansburg, we'd definitely save on gas. I'd definitely see you more each day. You'd definitely spend less time in your car. My mom would probably be willing to work with us on getting Nolan to pre-school until we could afford another car. The house looks decent, if they'd accept an offer as low as we would need to make.
Watkins Glen is a happening place (compared to Lodi). The boys and I could walk to the library, Clute Park, the school playground, the grocery store. The boys already have friends there. It would be pretty easy to become good friends with Mrs. Nyre. There seem to be more opportunities in Watkins than anywhere else.... educational opportunities, opportunities to meet people, opportunities for employment, and opportunities to have the entire town flood.
And then Newfield. It's the cheapest. It's the closest to Ithaca. It's in the Ithaca Ward. It's the biggest plot of land with apple trees.
If I think about the barn, I feel so sad it makes me a little ill, but when I think about a new beginning with just our family in a home of our very own, worked out on our own time table, I feel hopeful and a little excited. Hopefully we have learned what we were supposed to from this. Hopefully we have done all we could to be the best we could be in this situation. And now hopefully we can do for our family what needs to be done. Thanks for sticking by me through all of this. Thanks for being my example in so many ways. Thanks for being my home wherever we do or don't find ourselves. I love you.
-Your Lady
