Quick note, i think it's fine that you print your sex notes here. i am curious to read them.
i am sorry that it doesn't look like farming will work out for us. It has been a realization i have fought against for the past couple of weeks—even before we began talking about Spokane. i love the ideal of farming (who doesn't love an ideal), but i don't love that no one seems to ultimately have brilliant things to say about farming. i think, potentially, that farming is an ideal that is lost to this world at this time. It's too bad. It's really too bad, but i would rather have a few free hours a day with you to do as we please; that is as opposed to no longer controlling the schedule of our lives and spending all day every day caring for a farm just to eek a living.
Then there's the issue of no health insurance.
No disability pay.
No vacation.
No retirement account.
No free time.
No guaranteed wages.
And the list goes on.
i am still caught in whiffs of euphoria at the thought of me and you walking out through our pastured lands, but i want to show you do much more than farm land (missions, vacations, sporadic adventures) and when you are a farmer there just doesn't seem to be much more than that.
So we will have our little homestead to have our delicious, natural foods, and i will continue working at a good job for now, and we will devise upon something new.
I love you.
Now, you asked me for a list, and so here it is, best as i can muster and in no particular order of importance:
1. Bavarian cream donuts. Not necessarily the donuts themselves, but that someone cares enough about me to pay attention to the nonessential details of my life.
2. Snuggling up next to me.
3. The interest you take in my writing.
4. Counciling together. When we sit down and discuss our plans and goals i feel the love and satisfaction of being on the best team (like i was surprisingly picked first to play on the best kickball team at recess :)
5. Moments when you randomly nuzzle up to me with a kiss (like when i am making breakfast, etc.).
6. Finding little notes from you, or these letters on our blog.
7. Knowing you post pictures of me on instagram just because you like me.
8. Your patience with me indicates you feel there is more to me than moments when i am not perfect. It seems to indicate that you perceive there might be a perfect day somewhere inside of me.
9. When i hear you laughing a pure, child-like laugh, i get goosebumps. There is just something about seeing you so totally enthralled that makes you shine and then when i consider that you (in all your wonder) choose to be with me, i consider that there just might be something worthwhile to this person i call me.
10. Holding your hand in the temple and hugging you when at last we are together in that celestial room. What a moment that is every time!
So there you are. Perhaps not an exhaustive list, but i am exhausted. Maybe i'll crawl back into bed with you.
i love you for always.
.your best friend
ps: i really like country bumpkins
Sent from my iPad
Sent from my iPad
