Dear Boy,

Yesterday, I was corralled into the library to have my yearly Branch President's Wife interview with the Stake President.  He typically checks in to make sure I think you doing a decent job and still paying some attention to our family. He did that yesterday and then went into inquiring about my own "spirituality". He conflates that term with a church-related checklist, but I don't buy into that conflation so I told him truthfully that my spirituality is great.  That was obviously not the answer he was looking for because he immediately pointed out that he noticed that my temple recommend had expired and wanted to know whether or not that was an oversight on my part.  If it wasn't an oversight he wanted to know my reasons for not renewing. I told him that I had knowingly let it expire and I'm not interested in holding one for personal reasons. He let me know that he was there if I ever needed to talk about anything. That was nice and I thanked him, but then he started rifling through his papers saying he wanted to read me something. And this is what he read:

"Life’s journey is challenging. It’s easy to be distracted, wander off the path, and get lost. Tribulation is an inevitable and indispensable part of our eternal progression. When adversity comes, don’t let something you don’t fully understand unravel everything you do know. Be patient, cling to truth; understanding will come. Trials are like great mists of darkness that can blind our eyes and harden our hearts. Unless we are “continually holding fast” to the word of God and living it, we will become spiritually blinded rather than spiritually minded. Search the Book of Mormon and the words of the living prophets every day, every day, every day! It’s the key to spiritual survival and avoiding deception. Without it, we are spiritually lost." Elder Kevin Pearson General Conference April 2015

I thanked him, but I felt injured. The assumption in choosing that quote for me is that I've been deceived, unfaithful, lazy, and that my trials have worn me down to this awful, hard-hearted state.  That breaks my heart.  I wish he could just offer love with no judgment. I wish we all could. Thank you for being my safe space to come home to. I love you more every day. 

Lady