We're out of kindling downstairs. It's 5 in the morning and I'm working on getting the fire going. I didn't quite feel up to going outside for more kindling, so I'm trying to get the fire going using a lot of newspaper. It's helped diminish what has been, all winter, a rather over-large stockpile of newspapers, though I'm left unconvinced that it will be enough to keep a fire going. Already the paper has burned away and I'm left with some admirable, but struggling, flames.
Ah well, I suppose you'll see how it went in an hour or so.
I admire you for the early mornings, you know. You've said it before, and it's true—no one else would probably do (or could probably do) what you're doing on your sister's behalf. I hope you truly recognize that.
I know that such close association with your family has not quite measured up to what you'd hoped it would be when we moved back. I'm sorry about that. Who could have foreseen such a drastic change in everything from when you were a child? But, difficult as it's been, your family has been blessed in so many ways by your decision to come back. Without you it's unclear how Elise would be fairing in seminary at all. Or what your mom would have done when your dad became sick. Or whether or not your grandpa Borden would have had much of a chance to meet Nolan and Gerret.
Things are tough right now, but I am always in awe of how you handle them and how you've blessed the lives of those you care most about. Which isn't to say we shouldn't move away :)
And where should we move to? Local? Far away? Is it Alaska time yet?
I think that the biggest question regards employ. How do we want to proceed? I have such a beautiful idea for our family farm, but it's definitely a long term goal. One requiring a lot of up front investment—which we definitely don't have. I know you don't want to simply wait at home until we save up enough money to buy a farm, nor do I want to continue in nominal employ until then. So what should we do? Salmon fishers in Alaska? Reverse call the midwife roles where you're the doctor and I'm the receptionist? A small-scale family circus? Any ideas?
Anyway, I'm just rambling and musing by myself in the dark of morning as I'm hoping the fire will catch. I thought I'd might just as rather be sharing my wandering thoughts with you.
I love you.
Sorry you'll be waking up tired in a short little while. At least tomorrow's Saturday and you can sleep in.
I'll see you at 6:10!
.a Boy
