Dear Boy,
Your own happiness brings me some of my deepest happiness. Seeing you engaged in writing this past week has been so joyful for me, even beyond the fact that I love to read your stories and thoughts. You are extraordinary. And so is your writing. And so is your husbanding. And though you disparage it quite often, your fathering is amazing and wonderful, too.
As far as the persona of your last life goes, I don't totally buy the idea of a persona. I think it goes with my claim that you can never be 100% kidding. I do, of course, say that in jest, that thing about jokes, but then you have to wonder if I say that in 100% jest.
I think a persona at least in the sense that you expressed (not a persona meant to manipulate or harm others, just an innocent one) is born of a real desire or ideal and should not, therefore be discredited. I think we always have a way of being and maybe even many all at once and I don't think that's bad. And if we change our way of being for different people, I think that's expected. And if we are exploring different ways of being all the while, then good. Maybe it's just our human way of becoming ourselves. We try on different styles and sizes until we find what fits. Or maybe we are all bigger than we ever imagined and that's why it seems we change our minds with the wind. Walt Whitman wrote, "Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself. I am large. I contain multitudes." I guess that is to say, don't fit yourself in any boxes, dear boy.
If you wax poetic or artsy, I love you. When your only dream is to tie up your boots and strap on your pack, I still love you. When you want to stay home and till up the earth and tend to livestock, I love you. There is goodness in you that runs much deeper than any of that and it shines through all of it.
