Just a note to say how grateful I am for you and your calming presence in my life. Thank you for standing in for me when I cannot stand. Thank you for creating opportunities to laugh when all I can think to do is scream at the sky. Thank you for being more organized and less overwhelmed than I am. Thank you for having a level head. And thank you for being compassionate toward me. You are the best friend I could ever have wanted to walk through this mire with.
This year is turning out to be even bigger and more full than I had anticipated even a month ago. First, you're the branch president. And now a long interaction with the hospital. And in the future, caring for my dad and possibly living in that basement again. I'm looking forward to our trip out to Utah. It was be such a respite and a grand adventure.
Although it's really hard and really heartbreaking at the moment, I'm so grateful for life, even life right now. It's teaching me and molding my character and changing my heart. However hard, it seems to be what I needed. It reminds me of this saying attributed to the stoic, Marcus Aurelius,
True understanding is to see the events of life in this way: "You are here for my benefit, though rumor paints you otherwise." And everything is turned to one's advantage when he greets a situation like this: You are the very thing I was looking for. Truly whatever arises in life is the right material to bring about your growth and the growth of those around you. This, in a word, is art -- and this art called "life" is a practice suitable to both men and gods. Everything contains some special purpose and a hidden blessing; what then could be strange or arduous when all of life is here to greet you like an old and faithful friend?
I don't know that I've matured enough to say "this is the very thing I was looking for," because if I could choose, my dad would still be talking and riding his bike and playing racquetball and making cookies and being his quietly perceptive self, but he's not a complainer (and he's still quietly perceptive... Just even more quiet) so I will try not to complain either. This experience, though acutely, soul crushingly painful, has also been the vehicle for so much goodness. I am humbled and amazed all while limping along.
