Thanks for sticking by me even though apparently I come across as a sad sack and I'm probably a constant drag on your own emotional well-being. I don't mean to be a drag, so I try to cover my sadness, but my attempt to hide seems to do more damage. It's funny because the few times you point out my melancholy are actually times that I feel quite well.
You think you are somehow at fault, that if you changed this or that, I would be something bouncy and cheerful. The truth is, maybe some of this is situational, but I'm pretty sure the large majority is chemical. I think a psychiatrist would hand me a heavy dosed prescription which would effectively dull and numb my senses, but we all know how I trust a doctor.
God is my only doctor and I am the physician's assistant. Together, I think we will cure this and not just hide the symptoms with a drug. And I am grateful for the experience and the learning it has and will afford me and the compassion it has given me for my fellow travelers. I can understand in a way that I wouldn't have otherwise how truly and quietly our hearts hide all kinds of sorrow and affliction that the eye can't see. Even if this will never be cured in this life, I'll be okay. I lean on the mercy and strength of Jesus Christ. I feel his love pulling me out of the dark. I am forever indebted to him for his daily rescue.
Any questions? Feel free to ask. I don't generally know where to start, but I'm not totally unwilling to try. This was my meager effort. I'm sorry if it's too meager for your taste.
From your lady
